Blonde Q&A
Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pick it up, pull out the pin, and throw it back
Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
A. Run like hell. She has got a grenade in her mouth
Q. Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in the back seat?
A. In case she locked her keys in the car.
Q. Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A. Toes go in first
Q. Did you hear about the dumb blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theatre?
A. They went to see “Closed for the Winter”
Q. What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A Space Invader
Q. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills
Q. What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third Grade
Q. What do you call a blonde with half a brain cell?
A. Gifted
Q. What is black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A. A blonde electrician
Tuesday 12 November 2013
Saturday 9 November 2013
HOLE IN THE HAND
One day, a blonde went to the doctor's office. She went into the examination room and said, "Doctor, I have a bullet hole in my hand and I don't know where it came from!" The doctor asked, "Have you had any personal experience with a gun recently?"
The blonde replied, "Well, yesterday I was going to commit suicide. At first I was going to hold my breath till I died. I couldn't do it though. Then I was going to shoot myself in the stomach. That was too bloody. So I decided to shoot myself in the head. So I put the gun up to my ear and I put my other hand on my other ear because I knew gunshots were loud, you know?" The doctor nodded. "Well, then I pulled the trigger and the next thing I knew there was a hole in my hand!"
One day, a blonde went to the doctor's office. She went into the examination room and said, "Doctor, I have a bullet hole in my hand and I don't know where it came from!" The doctor asked, "Have you had any personal experience with a gun recently?"
The blonde replied, "Well, yesterday I was going to commit suicide. At first I was going to hold my breath till I died. I couldn't do it though. Then I was going to shoot myself in the stomach. That was too bloody. So I decided to shoot myself in the head. So I put the gun up to my ear and I put my other hand on my other ear because I knew gunshots were loud, you know?" The doctor nodded. "Well, then I pulled the trigger and the next thing I knew there was a hole in my hand!"
PARACHUTES, BACKPACKS, PLANES CRASHING
A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane.
The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them.
The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped.
The pope told the brunette to take the last one.
The brunette said, "There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my backpack!"
A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane.
The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them.
The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped.
The pope told the brunette to take the last one.
The brunette said, "There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my backpack!"
GUESS HOW MANY CHICKENS
A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her.
The man in the car says to her, ''What do you have in the bag?''
The blonde replies: ''I have chickens!''
The man thinks for a moment and says, ''If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?''
The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, ''Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"
A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her.
The man in the car says to her, ''What do you have in the bag?''
The blonde replies: ''I have chickens!''
The man thinks for a moment and says, ''If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?''
The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, ''Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"
ICE FISHING
There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish ice fishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win -- they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back.
"A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!"
There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish ice fishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win -- they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back.
"A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!"
MOST BORING BOOK
Once a blonde went to the library to get a book.
A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring.
It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it."
The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"
Once a blonde went to the library to get a book.
A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring.
It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it."
The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"
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